Comments on: So How About Those Mom Cliques?

By: Swords

Swords — Tue, 13 Oct 2009 18:15:57 +0000

They exist everywhere. I think no one ever really grows up. It s so bizarre to me!

By: Amy

Amy — Wed, 07 Oct 2009 17:59:49 +0000

I’ve run into a similar issue in my neighborhood. I was actually just talking about this with my friend today. She said ‘wow your street is messed up’.. and I guess it’s just about the clique. Like I’m fine with everyone until they start getting together, now that they’re all friends I’m left the odd one out. I don’t much like it either. Going out somewhere is fine, but at home.. I don’t want to feel like the one everyone’s talking nasty about.

I’ve got the oldest kids in the neighborhood and I’m the youngest mom. I don’t know how much has to do with all that, but I’m definitely on a different path than they are. If they don’t want to accept me for who I am, I’ll just not bother with them. Life doesn’t have to be all drama..

By: Laurene

Laurene — Tue, 06 Oct 2009 17:49:11 +0000

My experience has been that only about 20%-30% of people ever actually grow up. The rest just get older and keep acting exactly the same way they always did. There are psychological theories about people who have had abuse or injuries that stop their emotional growth at the age the abuse/injury occurred. But I’m not sure how that reflects on the population distribution. Are 70-80% of Americans surviving abusive childhoods, and really don’t know how to get past that? Pretty scary concept.

I was often in the outcast group myself also. Started in gradeschool, didn’t change after I graduated. Something changed when I started homeschooling my children though. Suddenly, it didn’t matter if I “fit in” or not because we created our own standards of acceptance and established our own values. And then people became curious about why I would do that, and they would talk to me about it. I knew from my own experiences in school that being a social outcast definitely did NOT help my self esteem or my self image, so I didn’t want my kids to have to struggle through that. This, among a dozen other reasons, is part of why we chose to homeschool our children: to give them a stronger self-image and to help them cultivate strong self-worth and family values from the onset. My oldest is 16 now and I would definitely say that it has worked! We have a strong family, and our children are socially very well adjusted, self-confident, and excelling academically. And in the process we have formed a Homeschool Mom’s support group in our town, where I’m a co-leader. And we welcome families who have been through all manner of struggles and give them the encouragement and support they need to follow through with their decision to take charge of their families and homeschool their children. I’m also the leader of a volunteer game development team, which grew out of a combination of my homeschooling and online gaming experiences. It’s been the most amazing thing to go from outcast to leader. I still don’t have a real stable self-esteem, but I definitely can sympathize with the underdogs, and I’ve learned to fight ferociously for them. They often have the best ideas, and are definitely worth listening to!

God bless you, I hope you find peace.
-Laurene

By: Alice Audrey

Alice Audrey — Mon, 05 Oct 2009 17:07:55 +0000

That clique I had – it wasn’t exclusive like you’re talking. Any of them would talk to anyone who seemed friendly. But we were all older, and sometimes there was a but-for-the-grace-of-God-there-go-I feeling when we saw younger parents who were struggling.

By: Alice Audrey

Alice Audrey — Mon, 05 Oct 2009 17:04:28 +0000

I had a wonderful mom clique when my kids were in pre-school, but over the years of only seeing them at school functions (my kids took the bus) the clique fell apart.

By: MommaWannabe

MommaWannabe — Sun, 04 Oct 2009 08:23:10 +0000

OMG didn’t know it exists also in parenthood… I thought it would be different once we became parents coz then we are all adults.

I know how it feels when you try to befriend people and it’s like they’re thinking ” why are you talkking to me?”
oh well their loss right?:)

By: Pepper

Pepper — Sat, 03 Oct 2009 03:25:05 +0000

I agree with most everyone, they are just insecure with themselves. You remind them that their youth is fading and they are going to be old by the time they get their kids out of the nest.

It’s sad those cliques still exist even as adults, even though we tell our kids their popularity in hs doesn’t matter, but in reality it follows you throughout your life. Is it because it’s always their in the back of our heads or does it really exist? I’m not sure.

I have a couple friends that were obviously in the popular, perfect clique in hs and we try to be friends but it’s hard for even me to get beyond our differences. I invite them to things but they are always too busy with this or that friend that they really aren’t even that close to. Yet my close friends who grew up in the same clique as me value are relationship differently.

I just keep trying to love on those friends and kill them with kindness, no matter how hard it is.

By: Life with Kaishon

Life with Kaishon — Fri, 02 Oct 2009 12:55:25 +0000

It is sad that people are like that. I try to just be as nice and kind as I can be and hope that someday they will realize that life is too short to be snobby! Every human has value. Stopping over from SITS this morning

By: Sheena

Sheena — Fri, 02 Oct 2009 07:02:51 +0000

Kill them with kindness and get involved. Just think about it, when they were your age they probably didn’t even have the balls to be parents.

By: sophia's mom

sophia's mom — Fri, 02 Oct 2009 04:47:06 +0000

Sorry you are having to deal with that type of people.
Some people just never outgrow their cliques!

But you are way cooler than them , so who gives a crap?!

http://www.thewannabewahm.com